How beautiful do you have to be to be loved?

Well, from my point of view the answer is simple, maybe too simple for you: you don't have to keep up with this. In a funny way I face the same problem as you, but from the other side: how can I keep up with you? You have not only your looks, you have your own unique way. You have your personality, your style. You have your way of walking and talking. You can make a real connection with somebody. You can touch them. You can make them feel your caress. You can make their heart pound.

How can I as a photographer keep up with this? I only have a stupid picture, how can I make someone's heart pound? Because I have this limitation I have to use all the so-called "tricks": I take a model who is considered to be beautiful and put her in a beautiful location to make her even more beautiful. Then I set up the lights very carefully to make her even more beautiful. Out of thousands of photographs we pick the most beautiful in the end and then I use Photoshop to make that photo even more beautiful.

I don't do this to tell you: "if you want somebody to fall in love with you, you have to look like this". It won't work. I'm saying: "if somebody falls in love with you they will see you like this". I'm not a photojournalist documenting reality. I'm trying to be an artist doing impressionistic photography. We are documenting a different reality here, a certain state of mind, if you will. With my pictures I want to seduce people to see other people with other eyes. I want to seduce you to look at someone and simply say: "oh my God."

At the risk of sounding like some cheap would-be Guru on television, I'm giving a piece of advice: If you're trying to outcompete others in being more beautiful (or getting a partner who is), your life will be a race without a finish line. There is always someone who is more beautiful.  In the end you will be exhausted and frustrated and maybe as lonely as ever. I want you to forget about worrying how you can make somebody fall in love with you. I simply want for you to fall in love. And I want you to think about it not as a weakness but as your biggest strength. Love is not about being in control it is about losing control. If you're not afraid to do that this will be your superpower even in times of rejection and heartbreak. But I'm not saying it's easy.

If you're still wondering how to make somebody fall in love with you I can only tell you that I don't have the answer. Maybe you were made to think being beautiful will do the trick but I don't think so. Maybe people don't love you because they think you are beautiful, maybe they think you are beautiful because they love you.